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The ties between two people can only be strong if they are nurtured carefully, allowing the couple to grow together and flourish. Sadly, breakups are part of life, bringing heartache, stress and frustration. When a couple breaks up it is normal for them to feel an impulse to get back at their ex. If you find yourself in that situation, you would do well to pause and ask yourself if that is really in your best interests. If you can resist the temptation to seek revenge and take a more strategic approach with these tips, you may find that one of the best ways to get back AT your ex, also lays the ground work for you to get back WITH your ex. This works because you put your ex "on the defensive", and show by your actions how important you were, and are still, to your ex. 1 - Find your strong side. After a breakup it is normal to feel vulnerable, but a typical side effect of this can make things much worse. Feeling hurt and desperately wanting to get your ex back can make you needy, and unfortunately, this is only going to push your ex further away. You must avoid begging or clinging at all costs, and make the effort to appear to have moved on - even if you haven't. By appearing to be strong, even if you don't feel it inside, you give the impression that you have moved on. Making your ex think you are over them is the best way to get them to realize they are not over you. 2 - Close down the lines of communication. It may seem counterintuitive not to communicate with your ex when your real goal is to rekindle the relationship, but breaking off communication is one of the best ways to regain your perspective and get back on your feet. Give the relationship a rest for a while. If your ex is going to come around to realizing how valuable your connection is, it will be when they can see things clearly without all the pressure of the breakup. Similarly, separating yourself from the situation will give you a chance to think rationally and sort out what you really want. 3 - Be accommodating. Try to defuse the situation by not being rigid and forceful with your ex when negotiating moving out, or setting a time to pick up their things. If you can be flexible about it, be a good listener and show sympathy, your ex will be surprised to see this side of you. They may rethink the decisions made when communication was breaking down. They may start to wonder if breaking up is really what they want. 4 - Get out and about. After a breakup is the worst time to be alone. Call up your friends and keep supportive people around you. Use your social network to bring some entertainment and fun into your life. You don't need to pay attention to the opposite sex, just get out and find ways to enjoy life. This will do you good, but in addition, it will help your ex see the happy, fun side of you, and make them realize what they have lost. 5 - Be yourself, by yourself. You and your ex shared something special to begin with, and a little time apart may give you and your ex enough space to rediscover what it was that drew you together originally. Try these 5 tips and you will "get back at your ex" by showing them that you are not broken and you do not depend on your ex for happiness. The irony is that by doing so, you once again become the person your ex fell in love with. What better way to begin to rekindle that romance?
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Eve Collins is a Selected-Results.comExpert Author. Click here for her recommended resource where you can learn much more about how to get your ex back in your life and fall back in love with you
