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You may already know that in “Mack Tactics,” my best-selling dating strategy manual for men, I stress that originality is the most essential quality that you can convey to a female -- from the way you dress up, to how you approach the ladies and engage them in conversation. On the other hand, when you fail to make a unique impression, she’s going to inevitably lump you in with the last 43 idiots who tried to buy her a drink -- and within three minutes of you shelling out cash for her $12 cocktail, she’ll be excusing herself to “go find her friend.” (Don't you just hate when women tell you that? As if her friend is lost somewhere in the nightclub, in dire need of water and food...) The key to forming a bond with her is to grab her attention and prompt her to share details about herself. Then you’ll tell her how much you relate to what she is saying, and create rapport with her. One of my favorite conversational methods for accomplishing this is using Cold Reads. This method, which is used to huge effect by psychics and palm readers{, is a way to make the other person feel like you understand what makes them tick, and what they’re going through, without them telling you. It makes it seem like you have psychic powers and are "reading" the other person.. The key to Cold Reads is that the “observations” you’re making apply to practically anyone. Yet there are interesting reasons why they are effective on a subsconscious level. One reason is that human beings are self-centered, and we usually believe claims about ourselves that reflect how we wish to be. Also, people are vain. We want to be seen as unique. Even though Cold Reads are usually ambiguous generalizations -- which would apply to your Uncle John, just as they would to the hottie partying with her friends at the nightclub -- as humans, we want to agree with the person who skillfully “reads” us, and we’ll believe they have unusual powers of perception. So forget about asking the same old boring “job interview” questions. (“So what’s your name,” “where are you from,” etc.) When I'm in a bar or a nightclub, talking to a girl and wanting to make a quick connection with her, I'll use a Cold Read: “Samantha, I get the sense that a lot of guys get the wrong idea when they first meet you. They think you’re stand-offish and a bit cold. But you’re in reality a lot more sensitive, and funny, than people realize.” Here's another Cold Read example: “I get the sense it takes you a while to trust people, because you’ve been hurt before by someone who was really close to you. But the people that do earn your trust, you would do anything for them.” Or, "I can tell that you’re someone who usually plays it safe and doesn’t take risks, but sometimes you’ve regretted it because you missed out an opportunity. But then other times, you’re spontaneous and adventurous, and you do take chances...and that’s when you’ve had some of the greatest experiences of your life.” If she agrees with one of these “reads” -- and honestly, I’ve never had a woman flat-out oppose what I said -- I’ll follow up by telling her that I can totally relate, because I’m the same way. This creates a connection between me and her. In order to strengthen the bond, I’ll tell a short story -- one that illustrates how I’m the same type of person. (If you’ve got several Cold Reads ready to use, you should also have several quick stories to exemplify how you personify those same qualities.) A similar maneuver is using “Barnum statements,” named after the circus showman P.T. Barnum. These statements apply to just about anybody, but give her the sense that you’re tapping into her inner psyche. My favorite is, "I get the feeling that something's been on your mind lately. You're on the verge of making a big decision in your life, aren’t you." Pretty much all of us, at any given time,are contemplating a big decision (or one that is important to us, at least). Regardless, she’ll be very impressed that you "knew" that about her. She’ll then in all probability volunteer more details -- and now you’re engaged in a meaningful, genuine conversation instead of wasting time with generic chit-chat. A good deal of what a cold reader does is simply repeat back what the subject has said, as if the cold reader already knew the answer. If the girl you're talking to affirms that she’s on the verge of making a big decision, nod wisely and say, "Yes, that's right, and you’re really having a tough time with it." Claim her answer as your own. Here are other Cold Reads that are hazy yet “insightful”: “I can tell you have a deep need for others to like and admire you, but you also have a tendency to be critical of yourself.” “You’ve got a secret talent, or a passion, that most people don’t know about, and you want to do more with it— but something is holding you back.” “At times, you’re really social and outgoing. But other times, you’re reserved and withdrawn.” Now that you understand the idea behind Cold Reads, you can devise your own. Based on her personality, the way she’s dressed, and how she acts during the first few minutes of the conversation, you should be able to use a “read” that applies to her. This is just one case in point of an original, thought- provoking conversational method. To be taught the whole arsenal, and how to use them with expert precision in any situation, visit the Mack Tactics website, download our FREE 75-page seduction book, and get ready to take your skills with women and lifestyle to a whole new level.
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